The Greatest Joke Book Ever. But With The Best Comebacks To Tuck Into Your Brain, And Funny Quotes For Every Circumstance, You'll Always Have The Last Word. Click To Tweet A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. the doctor asked, "which brain would you like? But I live with multiple mental illnesses and have so for years. Here we have a policeman’s brain as well. He won’t expect it back. We attend stand up comedy sessions, watch presenters deliver amazing presentations, and we love public speaking. Here are a few of my favorite hilarious short jokes. All sorted from the best by our visitors. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana – mafia. What do you get when you wake up on a workday and realize you ran out of coffee?-A depresso. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. It might not hurt to try them out at home in front of a mirror first. If brains was lard, Jethro couldn't grease a pan. These are meaty and will definitely make you think! If you like retiree jokes, you may also find earning and expense fun lines a good read, so check this as well. Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think. No one should make jokes about being crazy. ... Click To Tweet Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it. The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. 100 Work and Business Jokes, Quips and One-liners I always stress that being funny, having a great sense of humor, and adding more humor into a workplace has very little to do with telling jokes. Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps. Always borrow money from a pessimist. They are not only hilarious, but can help send the sarcastic remarks and messages in a light way. There are many types of riddles in this section as well. His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer. The mammalian brain says, "Give peace a chance, but first let's kill this motherfucker." The doctor said, ”Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. George Carlin (Complaints and Grievances) Cannibalism. Thanks. 28 common one liners used by presenters: (during […] You finally found enough brains to get to our Brain Puns Collection! Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! Joke Soup: 1,217 Of the Funniest Jokes from the Best Comedians. The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too. • Here is our collection of really funny one liners - sharp and humorous firepower quickly delivered in one sentence (sometimes two). If you were a body of water, you’d be a kiddie pool. A fsh. Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? People who don’t think probably don’t have brains; rather, they have gray fluff that’s blown into their heads by mistake. Then I realized they can handle it themselves. Read them and especially memorize them for the important moments. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. These brain teasers aren’t easy so make sure you have some time to really think about the correct answer. Robert Frost (1874 – 1963) American poet You’ve got the brain of a four year old boy… and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it. "While I was in the doctor's waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. These types include both riddles for kids, and one liner riddles for adults. Heenan would sneak in little life lessons for those that followed the heel lifestyle. See TOP 10 intelligence one liners. I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get into office. One-Liners Quotes - BrainyQuote Mike Myers as Austin Powers makes me laugh - that was genius - and Daffy Duck makes me laugh, but I like odd behavior. Since you are a teen, chances are you want to impress a boy or a girl. See TOP 10 doctor one liners. A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
Famous One Liner Jokes. I don’t know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles. But of course there are times when a well-placed joke can add a little spice to the workday. A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. Quotes and One Liners Subject: Intelligence » Mind What a terrible thing to have lost one’s mind… or not to have a mind at all; how true that is. The best brain puns online, including hypothalamus puns, brains puns, thalamus puns, cortex puns, hemisphere puns and lobe puns. 40 Best Technology One-Liner Jokes and Humor [Tweetable] Updated On February 2, 2021 by Editorial Staff. One Liner Riddles helps exercising the brain and develop it to think logical and solve real world problems differenlty. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. Following is our collection of funniest Brain jokes.There are some brain mindblowing jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Do you like these hilarious one line jokes and wish to bookmark them on your Google +1 or Facebook profile? If you too are looking for some witty one liners, the following examples will prove to be real rib-ticklers. If your brain were chocolate, it … Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Here in this blog we bring to you 38 one-liners you can use to spark up your presentation. It's just not for me. This one came when Heenan tried to express that helping others is overrated. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. Here are a few of my favorite hilarious short jokes. I don't like hip dialogue and one-liners and all that sort of cool, sophomoric comedy. If you know some good clean one-liners or two-liners then don't hesitate to write them in the comments at the bottom of this page. one day, a patient wanted a new brain. Absolutely hillarious intelligence one-liners! Flirty One-Liners. Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. • On this page you will find funny lawyer jokes, old people jokes, job jokes, national jokes, truth jokes, vehicle jokes, funny fart jokes, question jokes and marriage jokes. Riddles in this section will most likely have at least a small bit of humor. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. "Hey buddy, Why the Long Face", What do you call a fish with no eyes? His brain rolls around in his head like a mustard seed in a five gallon bucket. And the reptilian brain says, "Let's just kill the motherfucker, go to the peace rally and get laid." the patient replied, "why is the soccer player's brain so expensive?" Heel wrestlers typically try getting to the top at the expense of others. And anyone going faster is a maniac. It’s like my brain and my penis are locked in a chess match and I’m letting Him win. Student: No, he did it all by himself. (Thanks, Richard J. Antus) If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)? cartoons, jokes, one liners, one-liners, One Liners, One-Liners, One-liners, dirty jokes, clean jokes, comedy, humor, humour, funny stories, confucius say, Confucius Say, put downs, come backs, observations ... Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. 1. Human brain One Liner Joke The human brain is a wonderful thing. See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. I used to breed rabbits. Firstly, being able to recall and drop a one-liner in an instant is the sign of a healthy functioning brain. Really Funny One-Liners Read those really good short jokes and find yourself laughing like a hyena. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Witty one liners are jokes that are delivered in a single line. As Jed Clampett in “The Beverly Hillbillies”. If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid. If you know some good clean one-liners or two-liners then don't hesitate to write them in the comments at the bottom of this page. A. Milne, (1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol, (1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator, (1874 – 1962) American politician & U.S. senator (Arizona), (1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer, (1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host, (1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality. I have collected my favorite flirty one-liners you can use. Some clever one liners which are sure to tickle the fancies of those who enjoy word play, and that too with a comical twist. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); (1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host, (1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician, fictional character from the book series by A. The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. Tricky brain teasers. Easy, simply click the following buttons. 2. Funny One Liners (iStock) Nothing gets a good laugh better than a well-placed one-liner—and we could all use a little laughter during trying times. These are one of the most popular riddles to date because they are easy to remember and share. Have you ever noticed... anybody going slower than you is an idiot. Here's the way it works: The primate brain says, "Give peace a chance." "The saying, 'There's more pleasure in giving than in receiving,' applies chiefly to advice... and medicine." The largest collection of intelligence one-line jokes in the world. Here are selections of sweet and cute one liner love quotes: Nothing can compare to the joy of being loved by the one who owns your heart, and loves you exactly the way you do. Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party. there is a soccer player's brain for $100k, a lawyer's brain for $75k, and a doctors brain for $50k." Since I've "been there, done that," I say I have the right to crack said jokes. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. If there is a substitute for brains it has to be silence. Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.